Help your children to form self-respect
Spend time on paying attention completely to your children when they talk to you. This way is very helpful to develop the self-respect of your children because they understand that you consider them important and valuable.
Raising the self-respect of children at the age of not going to school yet is a hard responsibility of parents. Self-respect of a person originates in awareness of self-reliance, belief that he has ability, realizing that his contributions are valuable.
Parents all know that self-respect is a thing that is very easy to change. Sometimes we find us good, sometimes we don't. What we want to teach children are living skills such as patience, for example. Your aim is how to make your children develop pride, self-respect and belief in ability to overcome challenges (for nursery children, the challenge is writing exactly the alphabets).
The following are 9 simple methods to develop the self-respect of your children:
1.Love without condition . Self-respect springs up when we show our love without condition to say that "We love you however you are or whatever you do". Your children will develop more when you welcome themselves regardless of their bad points or good points, their personal characters or abilities. Therefore, be generous in giving love for children. You should often hold them in your arms and kiss them, or tap them on the shoulder to encourage them. And don't forget to tell them that you love them very much. When your children do something wrong, you have to distinguish correcting their faults from correcting themselves. For example, instead of scolding: "You are so spoilt! Why are you so fierce?", you should say: "Pushing Na fall is not good. Na's knees swelled up. you shouldn't do that anymore."
2.Care . Spend time on paying attention completely to your children when they talk to you. This way is very helpful to develop the self-respect of your children because they understand that you consider them important and valuable. It doesn't cost time!
For example, reading newspaper, you stop for a while when your children want to talk to you, or just switch off television for a few minutes to answer them. Looking at children's eyes to show that you are really listening to them. When you are busy, tell them about that and don't ignore their needs. For example, you say: "Tell me about the picture you drew, then I will cook rice".
3.Teach children to follow some rules . If you don't allow your children to eat between main meals on beds, you shouldn't allow them to do that there. Or if you forced them to put dirty clothes into basins, never let them throw clothes on the floor. Or during mealtime, they have to sit at table with family not bring bowls and run around.Knowing that rules of family are immutable, children will feel safer. About you, you should often repeat the rules. Not long after, children will begin to obey your requirements.
4. Support safe ventures . Encourage children to discover new things such as tasting a new meal, finding a good friend, learning to ride bicycles. Although there is always ability to fail, if there is not daring, it will be rare to find a chance to succeed. Therefore, let your children experience if there is nothing dangerous, and try to dominate your wish to help them. Don't "help" your children when they seem not to be able to use a new toy. It is when you interfere, you allow the dependence and decrease the belief of your children. You can build the self-respect of your children only when you don't mix taking care of your children up with letting them face with new challenges.
5. Allow faults . Certainly, the bad side of letting your children choose or dare do ventures is that your children are sometimes easy to make mistakes. But adults also make mistakes! Those are valuable lessons for the confidence of children. Therefore, if children put a bowl too close to the edge of a table and it breaks, you should keep calm to ask them that next time where to put the bowl so that it can't drop like that. By that way, the self-respect of children will not be lowered and they know that sometimes making mistakes is all right. If you do something wrong accidentally for your children, you admit and correct the mistakes. That affects your children greatly: then, they will know how to accept easily their mistakes and correct them.
6.Praise positive activities . Being humans, everybody like encouragements. Thus, let your children know that you realize good things they do everyday. For example, you tell your husband that, "Bi washed vegetables this afternoon", he will feel warm because of that praise and he also knows that his father is very happy. You should praise your children specifically. Instead of saying "Good", you should say: "Thanks. You tried to wash vegetables, so they taste very delicious!" Specific praise helps to improve children's awareness of achievements and they find themselves valuable, they know exactly what they did well.
Praise not flatter. Praise too much may reduce the self-respect of children because it puts pressure on them to perform and creates a demand for being praised by others. Therefore, be cautious to praise. If they are truly good, really try, you can praise. Praising truly at the right time makes children grow up with a good feeling about them.
7. Listen positively . When your children have needs to talk, you should stop and listen to them. Help your children to feel comfortable with their feelings by calling their names correctly. You should say: "I know you are sad to say goodbye to your close classmates." By accepting children's feelings without any criticism, you admit the value of those feelings and appreciate what they tell you about. If you share your feelings with your children, ("I like it very much! We're going to go to the zoo!"), your children will be confident to express themselves.
8. Do not compare . Reprimands like: "You're so spoilt! Why are you not like your sister?" or "Why don't you see Bin and Tai? They don't study bad like you!" make children more worried, more ashamed, more jealous and more competitive. Even positive comparisons like "You play best!" bring about bad effects implicitly, because children will be very hard to live exactly similar to that image. If you let your children know that you consider them the best, maybe they also assess themselves like that.
If your children compare with their sisters or friends "Why can't I catch the ball like Duc?", you should sympathize with them and emphasize one of their good points. For example, you say: "Right! Duc keeps goal well, and you play chess well." Gradually, children will realize that everybody has both good points and bad points. And they will understand that it's not necessary to be perfect people to feel happy.
9. Encourage . All children need a support from their relatives, expressed by gestures that show that "I believe you. I recognize your efforts. Go on!". Encouragement means appreciating the development, it's not simply praising achievements. If your children are trying to fasten their bags, you should say: "I know you're trying hard. You are going to succeed!" instead of saying: "It's not like that. Let me fasten it!"
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